Why on earth do people insist on doing this??? If the dog is a grown one, the house training needs to be done again! The second cat is his moms and the cat is the most annoying cat ever, the cats been in diapers his whole life.. but he is perfectly capable of going to the litter box he even trys to go while hes wearing his diaper my boyfriends mom changes that cats diaper on the same counter she prepares food with out disinfecting it.. when i addressed my boyfriend he claimed she does.. People prefer animals because there is very little emotional work that goes into that relationship and its usually easy to earn an animals affection. It is so stressful juggling his feelings about the dog and me trying to keep loving my dog as normal as I can and trying to make her feel safe like she used to feel. Maybe our guys should get together and have fun talking and babying those ugly little beasts. I like dogs, or liked them. HOW IN THE HELL IS THIS WORTH IT??? Shes cute but not the small dog I wanted. I agree with Charlie, you will never be first. Its not that I purposefully treated the cat better, he was just more receiving and loving!! While the destruction frustrates him he doesnt really do anything about it because my boyfriend doesnt want to punish the dog without him knowing what he did wrong. How many times have we apologized for getting into a bad fight only to get into another one a week later when he throws it in my face. I dont think you are wrong for feeling the way you do (we should never apologize for FEELING a certain way), but I think communicating to him how it is making you feel might help. So you manage to get your partner to separate themselves from their dogs or perhaps even give them up? Just disturbing. Dog doesnt know a kennel. He used to sleep with both the dog and cat in bed before we lived together. If Your Boyfriend Doesn't Like Your Dog (Or Vice Versa! I have beaten him and it still doesnt work! Today dogs come to me for affection, not him, and I pet them and enjoy them. Oh my goodness this is similiar to my story. While I would choose the dog over the guy, I dont want that to happen. Eventually i was allowed in the bed, but the dogs keep jumping on and off from the bed and they shed hair EVERYWHERE. The thing is that you have tried all the options and I respect that but clearly there is something very wrong with him and getting a dog sitter everytime you leave the house is giving into a tantrum. Doesnt take much effort. He hated the idea of the cat using the litter tray and walking around on the floor and jumping on the sofa, he felt it was unhygienic and that germs were spreading. My first dog was older when they met and therefore very sedate, the second dog. hes paying more attention to his phone and getting angry. My fianc has a dog that it totally above me, I cannot tell you how many times he has questioned are relationship over the dog. My cat is allowed on the furniture and our bed when he comes but hes much smaller than a Great Dane and sheds much less.. The dogs will probably always come first. The dog has health issues and a husband/boyfriend. Every suggestion I make about boundaries or training is shut down and she gets very offended. I guess that my very first question would have to be to wonder how you end up with someone who so adamantly hates your pet if you have one. I mean, dogs shed. After the last two pass we needed to be dog free. Its ok not to like a dog. Gross I know. Hes quit jobs because he couldnt have the dog with him. It is almost like being married to both brothers. He claimed that he was lost and disconnected and that he regrets what he had done, that he felt very bad afterwards etc. Be there to listen and learn, not to pressure your daughter into doing what you want. I went to bed and my SO comes back to the bedroom to tell me what a POS I am, threatens some bodily injury to myself, says well never have intimate contact again and that shell cut my hands off if I so much as touch her. I am an extremely clean person and I like my surroundings to be comfy and inviting. Lucy I feel for you. I feel I dont have any place except in one our bathroom in our home, my husband now wants the min pin to sleep in our bed. According to them, your dog is supposed to have the run of the house. Oops, I forgot! Help. He continues to pee everywhere. He of course used to let her sleep in his bed like a person and she stinks like nothing Ive ever smelled. Teach it right and it will learn respect and maybe he wont be jealous anymore if he is then leAve him. Something else I will be happy to discuss but dog H*** NO. I want to say THANK YOU for all the animals youve dedicated your hard work, money, time and everything else that comes with doing rescue work. If I have kept my word in the first place we would not be in this situation and even though I do see these dogs as my children, because I do, I dont think they should be subjected to watching us yelling and screaming at each other. Isnt that sad? This thread has helped me cope with my situation soooo much. when I try to teach him something I get pushed away. IMO, dogs are meant to live with families and do better in environments where they are allowed some independence and interaction with more than just one person. I have been very tolerant of this dog and she has been understanding about no longer having it in her bed or on the furniture, this was agreed upon before I moved in. Lack of mental stimulation is also one of the main reasons why some canines become destructive, resulting in your husband/boyfriend attempting to get rid of the dog. IF there was some sort of threatening behavior, such as your ex yelling at you, being physically intimidating, etc then the behavior of the dog is acceptable. Keep heading out that door and dont look back. I treat both equally. I also know its not the animal, its the owner who sees dogs as humans and treats them as gods. He has rescued two cats and three dogs over the years. The dog doesnt bark insistently. Unfortunately, he does not want to enforce rules and training so he complains about barking/housebreaking. What you said is most certainly not a fact. afterall, her behaviour with her dog is not right anyway. My sister has five dogs same thing. I just wish hed been honest about it and not let me go for this long looking forward to realising a dream and then having it shattered. Theyre selfish. Neither of us can fix it. I have a dashchund and my husband is so jealous of him.he only shouts at him when poor soul does not even do anyyhing wrong. That may be beneficial to you, and when you find a man who is serious about marriage, you will know because he is willing to spend time reading those same books together with you! So whether youre young and single, newlywed or together 40 years as I have, take the steps: get off the tube and move out into reality; take the time to read some of the many good books about relationships; consider attending a seminar or two or three; talk with those with experience and seek their council. she also feeds them constantly from the table that encourages this bad behaviour. But once its time to sleep she is right in my face panting and pawing. The dog barks heavily so much Day and night without change. Its always been my choice to let that happen, as I was single at the time of getting him. Think about a puppy who bites you as a result of being a bit exceedingly excited. I just dont know what to do. I would advise him to find someone who doesnt let an animals nasty behaviours to come in between your relationship. I am not a dog person so I leave the animal care to her. All in all its a dog, not a person & even though he has strong feelings for them Im disappointed that he doesnt have stronger feelings about me. I knew he loved his dog going in, but it wasnt until we started dating that I saw just how much his dog sheds and how insane his love is for his pet. Are you sure its just fur rather than lack of feeling important to youmore than an animal? How did an animal lover end up with an animal hater? Change in the schedule. Because when he finally gets in bed with me..I get good night I love you and not even cuddle me for 2 minutes and roll over and sleep. The horrible creature has no respect for my other animals, and it vacuums up anything it sees, including my cats toys because it is just too stupid and rangy to slow down and notice anything outside of its own drive for food. I have 2 kids 6 & 3 Im feeling like Mulan (the puppy) is another kid. I am to the end of my rope and sanity with the dog. I think this would be cruel, so start as you mean to go on if you wish to put your dogs best interest at heart. But he just tells me we cant give her away. We could sell her to avoid the arguments but it was brought for my daughter who would be upset immensely if we lost her. They do poop, pee & throw-up in the house which of course I clean up. I would let her sleep with us until she pooped in our bed. In fact, whats the point of adopting a dog if you cannot care about him. There are enough responses here that a website for dog widows/widowers seems viable: I dont think there is anything. He's allowed to be Continue Reading 31 Kevin Mcelroy Author has 4.8K answers and 1.4M answer views 2 y When I dont stay over for a day or two and return I can see the dog has been sleeping on my side of the bed. Rather, he makes a long long list of excuses for her retarded manipulative behaviour. I would rather see the dog go to another home. We have been living together for 2 years now. The other issue is she is so lazy with him. If she didnt get her way, shed start washing her private area for a very, very, long time. I mean , they have their own beds, just like I do, and its not going to be mine. You have to be prepared though. For the past 3yrs I have been sweet and pleasant about it and now I am beyond pissed off. If you put the dog in his kennel to run up to the store even for a few seconds you have to turn the kennel towards the wall and push the couch behind it otherwise he escapes and destroys the house. I am not having any more children and I wanted a little dog to cuddle with and love on and sour in my lap. None of the begging nonsense excessive unnecessary barking etcfast forward. The niches of society that follows the latest things are lost like sheep and easily hypnotized by whatever the trends are. Its possible to spoil a dog and still maintain a respectful relationship. Yes we talked about it. My problem however is not that either of our pets are his or mine or whether or not we love them. The dog is to have free reign of his home, she was there for him first. Our kids have moved out now that they are older so since the bedrooms upstairs are free, my wife has turned one of them into the dogs bathroom. I believe in not being cruel to animals. Life is about work and staying busy so I really feel Ive never had the time to get a dog or take time to care for one. Best to form relationships with people who share your passion. If you really dont have sufficient time to set aside your canine friend, check in your neighborhood. , ..but my man dont even ask about mine either, or say he wants to visit them or anything and that makes me sad cause im alwasy over there i just dont know what to do!!!! Your husband sounds controlling with no give or take on your pet. and to imagine I used to love cats and dogs.. had many over the years but I really am done!!! Try to clean the house every day prior to the arrival of the husband/boyfriend. Its similar to the theory of our subconscious playing out in our dreams and that its a sign of our innermost desires. Dogs arent human in the sense that some people anthropomorphise their pets but that nauseating pet lover encourages jealous or possessive behavior that just their dog likes them only because of the way they are intentionally or subliminally raised. Throughout my adulthood, I have owned many dogs and cats. Anyhow, now that he is older, this is our live: he walks up and down the halls at least 3x times per night between midnight and 6:00 am to be let out so we never get a real solid sleep. the little dog weighed about two and a half pounds and was covered in ticks had a dislocated back leg and had been being hit and swung around by the legs punished for no reason being left without food or water. If thats not what you wanted to hear then alternatively, you could just come home with two puppies one day (because he said you couldnt get A DOG) and tell him to deal with it.. Dude Im in the same situation its been like this for idk how many months. So 4 years in we have 1 dog so neurotic i wimpers and is stuck to her heel the whole time shes home, it has to sleep under the bed she would have it on the bed if i didnt make a stand, it sits on her whenever she sits. Except yes, the way he believes so harshly that a dog is a dog. Maybe you could call Caesar Milan! The damn creature will get up at ungodly hours to insist on being brought down, once s*** in the house and proceeded to smear the entire living room and kitchen with its poop laden paws, keeps stealing water from my dogs water bowl, constantly tries to steal food from the trash bin and kitchen shelves. Not to mention animals belong outside, they are meant to be outside. But this is sucking the joy out of my life. I truly believe that dog owners dont see how selfish and small their worlds become. Sure, he will tolerate it, but it is really difficult to live with someone who is just tolerating a massive part of your life (you dont have to be a dog nut for this to happen, thats just the reality of dog ownership). 75 percent of his waking life he is begging for something. Then, throwing that dog into a two (or more) person household, after having had the obsession/attention of their owner for so long, is a recipe for disaster. Those dogs life expectancy is 12 years so in just gate things off etc. And not that I would EVER wish harm on an animal, but one good thing is, that your fiancees dog is old and will not live very much longer. My wifes stupid dog (125lb German Shepherd) attacked our son and she STILL lets him around our son when I leave the house. He lied about liking animals and expects me to comply with his demand of putting them in a shelter, or else. I can understand where you are coming from totally. I have never felt that way about any animal before, but she is just terrible. You dont get rid of the dog, you train the dog. When my ex was abusing me hed try all sorts of tactics to get in my head and even attempted to kidnap my Siberian wolf. I have no idea why those words are being shouted out when not one have I said its me or the dog, which by the way I have every right to if we arent a fit anymore. Before we met (4yrs ago) I found it lovely that he had such a strong bond with her. Sweety this is not going to be easy to hear and believe me I speak from experience. We got our dog after we were married, and the reason its worked is because weve been on the same page regarding the boundaries set. Different breeds were actually bred for different reasons, and its funny because hardly any pet owner actually harnesses that energy and trains their dog what they are bred to do, especially terrier or bully breeds. I just had a long conversation yesterday with my boyfriend of more than ten years about my new dog. Yes its shown that some dogs can even reach the level of a 4 year old in emotional processing. I keep thinking how he has nipped at my son and how stupid I am for allowing it. I truly love this girl but Im on my way out! I have to somehow not find all their annoying habits annoying. Pretty over it all. Since we have been together 7 years now, problems have started popping up. Ultimately, a dog that isnt bathed, played with, given affection, and taken out to exercise is neglected. Then my partner came into my life. My husband has time to go bowling, golfing, drinking, sporting events, and then he wants another dog? Anyone who knows labs knows that they have two coats and shed INCESSANTLY. She ended up being not even the breed they claimed. He had his dog of not even a year. I can be impatient and I know this but even when I am doing my best to accommodate the Boston, he ultimately makes me want to climb up a wall. I have to disagree. Im becoming totally bitter about this. Which is also why I hate being woken up at night, given my already short sleeping hours. He cant even use the bathroom w out her whining to come in. So I consciously made an effort to not make high pitch sounds and to say hi to hubs first. Boyfriend woke up cussing and put him outside. When he's there, he may just totally fall for one of the available dogs. Truly good luck to you. Your fighting in front of dogs is not bad parenting because you are not parents to the dogs; you are owners of them. Am going to move out. I could no longer stand the way my husband brought down her spirit. Since he never had kids, he says that his dog is the kid he never had. I think that dog fanaticism/fetishism is a growing mental disorder. There were a lot of stain spots all over the couch from their drool once and she had to clean it but I still refused to lay on it. The dog is his world and Im just a person who lives with him. If your husband complains about your dog constantly or your wife snaps at your cat, you might assume that the pet is the problem or that your partner hates your pet. The dog whines to be requested to get let out or other who knows. Overall the dog has adapted very well. Thats borderline mental. Ive been with my fiance for two years. Yes, seriously. Especially when they keep it up because they arent satisfied! Family too but the dog will stay. Good for you! I have a similar problem with a different dynamic To summarise, I love dogs. I am a fairly good dog trainer, (my own opinion) but puppies need time to grow, to explore, and to get into things, that they shouldnt, in order to learn. Just last year my Siberian Husky Anya was involved in an attempted aduction by my ex boyfriend and he lured her with the exact same example you provided. My boyfriend cant handle that this dog is bouncy, happy to see him and that he wants to cuddle with him. She found her dog and said the shelter never told her how bad he was. im just not sure i can make it till hes no longer in the picture. Her bulldog was 7 years old and they live 8-12 years and the other one was 5. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Our otherwise is great! I finally had to put her to sleep and say goodbye. I had ran inside to go grab a towel. Haha she has no son. I know this dog means the world to my husband and has helped him get through tough times before he met me. But we have suffered a lot of loss in the last few years so dealing with fleas and having the patience to teach a dog when and when not to bark is not something he is always up to do. Just a thought. Is someone simply lies in order to keep your mind open to that relationship then that is completely selfish and disrespectful from the get-go, and I would find myself questioning their honesty with me generally. Hear about your situation i make about boundaries or training is shut down and she gets very offended he rescued! Purposefully treated the cat better, he makes a long long list of excuses her! Getting him handle that this dog means the world to my story etcfast forward i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog the arguments but it brought. Also why i hate being woken up at night, given affection, not mention... And cat in bed before we lived together clean person and she stinks like nothing Ive ever smelled to! 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